My Life As A Republican

[Pat Mustard]

For most of my life, I was a Democrat, but 10 years ago, something happened, that made me want to be a Republican. I won't say what that event was, but it changed my character in a significant way. So I've been a Republican for the last 10 years, and it's made me a lot less innocent. Before I turned Republican, I smoked weed as much as I could, and flirted with girls. I didn't watch much Netflix. I used to rap. But that all changed. After the incident 10 years ago, I became an alcoholic, drinking mostly beer, and some liquor. That lasted for about a year and a half. I tried getting into weed again, but that ended up being a poor decision. I started watching a lot of Netflix, mainly because I was always so bored. My paranoia and anxiety was at an all time high. I'm medicated now and doing much better. Still a Republican.

I thought you were still only 19? That's the impression you've been giving in your various posts to date anyway.

You should try much harder to keep your stories straight.