Republican Wants to Ban Halloween:Sucking on Satans Candy Leads to Liberalism

[Pretzel Logic]

-Michele Bachmann, Republican Congressional Representative to Minnesota and founder of the Tea Party Caucus, is at it again. She is calling for a ban on Halloween, stating, “This holiday is based in Satanism. It’s a Pagan ritual to worship Satan and call him forth to the earth and the liberal elites have added socialism to it. We are in the end days and we must purify our nation if we are to be welcomed into the kingdom of God.”

When asked for further comment, in an exclusive with Free Wood Post, Bachmann’s true fears came out.

“We have to ban Halloween to save the children. That’s how they indoctrinate them you know. Giving them Satan’s candy sacks. Soon you’ve got a country full of children sucking on Satan’s sacks and thinking liberal thoughts instead of good Christian ones.”

Source: http://www.freewoodpost.com/2013/10/16/m...iberalism/

[Foxaèr]

I want to suck on Satan's sacks.

Too bad he is not real.

[Minimalist]

Things have come to a sad state in this country. Satirists will have to redouble their efforts to separate themselves from True Republican asswipes.

When reality is funnier than satire we are all in trouble.

[Pretzel Logic]

I want to suck on Satan's sacks.

Too bad he is not real.

yes this turns me so on,so sexy

Brb now I need to

[Bob Kelso]

Next time you see a bum begging for change ask then if they used to be a newspaper/internet satire cartoonist/writer. Bachmann and her ilk are ruining their jobs.

[Walking Void]

When will Bachmann spontaneously combust as foretold in the great prophecy?

[Brian37]

Don't allow your kids to read Harry Potter either.

[Ben Davis]

Soon you’ve got a country full of children sucking on Satan’s sacks...”

Freud would have a field-day with this.

[Brian37]

Their Jesus character was not nailed to a Christmas tree. And Santa isn't a Christian symbol either.

[Raeven]

You DO realize this IS satire, right? I grant you, hard to tell at first glance. She certainly COULD have said something this bat-shit crazy. But she didn't.