What kind of a Jesus movie would you make?
July 2, 2023 at 6:04 pm
(This post was last modified: July 2, 2023 at 6:09 pm by Fake Messiah.)
Movies about Jesus are everywhere. There are millions of them, and more are made every year. Sometimes they are made for artsy-fartsy reasons and sometimes by Stephen Baldwin (e.g. Peter: The Redemption), but they all end up looking like a Stephen Baldwin movie.
So you are a movie director, and a studio boss is throwing money at you and ordering that you make him a movie about Jesus. It doesn't matter what kind of movie (it can be set in the future, past, present, it can be a Western, horror, sports, opera, erotica, action, detective) as long as it is about a guy named Jesus and preserves themes from the Bible to make him recognizable that it is about him.
What do you do? What kind of movie do you make?
I would make a movie set in past (NT times) in which Jesus was a gay guy who had 12 disciples fighting for social justice. As he was a miracle god-man, he impregnates his beloved disciple John, which scares people around them, and thus this is the reason they crucify him. Judas gets jealous because he was the one who wanted to carry Jesus' semen to full term, so he betrays him with a kiss.
So you are a movie director, and a studio boss is throwing money at you and ordering that you make him a movie about Jesus. It doesn't matter what kind of movie (it can be set in the future, past, present, it can be a Western, horror, sports, opera, erotica, action, detective) as long as it is about a guy named Jesus and preserves themes from the Bible to make him recognizable that it is about him.
What do you do? What kind of movie do you make?
I would make a movie set in past (NT times) in which Jesus was a gay guy who had 12 disciples fighting for social justice. As he was a miracle god-man, he impregnates his beloved disciple John, which scares people around them, and thus this is the reason they crucify him. Judas gets jealous because he was the one who wanted to carry Jesus' semen to full term, so he betrays him with a kiss.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
