I knew I was justified in making my ex cut his nails...

[The Magic Pudding]

I see you come home with your shopping, off to the bathroom to scrub your hands and wrists until the fear of the warming meat in your cooler bag draws you back. Long ago I rejected the false reassurance of soap and water, I now eat of the worm of the dirt. But this isn't my story, I talk of the one yet to come, the super shopper who will fearlessly lick the shopping trolley handle, shun the disinfectant isle and will righteously pelt those who linger there with tuna fish cans.