Having faced the very real possibility of losing my life 58 days ago, I have a very personal perspective on the subject. At the time, I was scared shitless. It came on suddenly, and over the span of two hours I went from feeling moderately unwell to being in a very real life-threatening emergency.
Over the last two months as the saga has unfolded, I have learned that there is a very real possibility that my life will end much sooner than I would have ever thought. It's impossible to quantify - and it all hinges on whether I respond to treatment that so far has proved ineffective.
I've come to terms with that possibility. The pain does not frighten me - I am in chronic pain as it is. What lies after death also does not frighten me. My strong belief is that there simply is nothing after death. I am comfortable with that belief - and that belief remained unshaken even when I did not know if I would see the next day's sun rise.
Whether my death comes sooner or later, I am saddened by the emotional aftermath that will be felt by family and friends, particularly my almost 10 year old son. Yet, I know that there is nothing within my power to lessen that emotional pain for those that care about me. That is something I simply must accept and move forward with all of the hope and resolve I have to regain my health.
I have no desire to die, and I'll do whatever is in my power to get through my current challenges.
I do not fear death.
Over the last two months as the saga has unfolded, I have learned that there is a very real possibility that my life will end much sooner than I would have ever thought. It's impossible to quantify - and it all hinges on whether I respond to treatment that so far has proved ineffective.
I've come to terms with that possibility. The pain does not frighten me - I am in chronic pain as it is. What lies after death also does not frighten me. My strong belief is that there simply is nothing after death. I am comfortable with that belief - and that belief remained unshaken even when I did not know if I would see the next day's sun rise.
Whether my death comes sooner or later, I am saddened by the emotional aftermath that will be felt by family and friends, particularly my almost 10 year old son. Yet, I know that there is nothing within my power to lessen that emotional pain for those that care about me. That is something I simply must accept and move forward with all of the hope and resolve I have to regain my health.
I have no desire to die, and I'll do whatever is in my power to get through my current challenges.
I do not fear death.