The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

The Deep Hurting Project is back, because not only have a few films been added, but I discovered, by random chance, a movie on TVTropes' So Bad It's Horrible list was in my library's collection the whole time: Shane Dawson's Not Cool. And it's one with a special backstory. So, then-popular YouTuber Shane Dawson and some up-and-coming female filmmaker named Anna Martemucci, were selected by a reality show to film the same script. Here's how it went:



And, despite universally being considered a worse movie (and being disowned by host/executive producer Zachary Quinto), Shane's version won the competition because he already had a massive YouTube audience. Her film only ended up with a gross in the four figures.

• Ah, yes, the opening tracking shot. I'm sure that won't come back to bite your budget in the ass, Shane.
  
• How shallow is your vagina if a baby carrot can break your hymen?
  
• One of the more infamous flaws: in an attempt to make the script more diverse, both directors decided to add actors of colour to thieir films. Anna decided to just cast some of the pre-existing characters with people of colour. Shane decided to just add some characters to be the butt of racist jokes. Including, for instance, a homeless black man who proudly eats his own shit. Naturally, this became a problem once it came out that someone was casting for a movie where a black homeless guy eats his own shit.
  
• No, Shane, the Hawk Tuah is supposed to be for fellatio, not cunnilingus!
  
• Middle of Thanksgiving break counts as a mid-term? Does Cornell do full-year classes? Goddammit, I could be listening to the Dead's Cornell show now.
  
• Is this the inciting incident? Tori almost running over Shane Dawson? FTR, I'm a bit more forgiving about placing it this late in the movie than the filmmaker in the video, because, well, the inciting incident in my favourite film, A Clockwork Orange happens 43 1/2 minutes into the film.
  
• This blind girl can paint, drive, and kick ass at a dancing video game simulator. 
  
• So much telling your emotions and not showing them. This is probably what you should expect when you spent so little time on radically rewriting the script. 
  
• She wants him to take a shit in public?
  
• I never thought I'd hear Kevin McLeod music in a feature film.
  
• And now for another bizarre story from production: once they actually cast a black person willing to have his character eat shit, it turned out he wasn't willing to show his penis. So, this leads Shane on a quest to find an actor to do a "Stunt Black Penis". They only found one in LA.
  
• Joel wants to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio's character from What's Eating Gilbert Grape? And in a few years he'll grow up to be Jean-Francois Gariepy. 
  
• Dead mom to sex? I liked it better when Archer did it.
  
• Wow. This scene of Shane shearing off his emo hair would resonate a lot more if I was actually familiar with his YouTube career.
  

ANd my choices for next week:
Jonah Hex
Borderlands
After Quarentine (Sic)