The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This latest fit of  the Deep Hurting Project starts with Surf's Up II: WaveMania. I did not care for the original movie when I watched it a few weeks ago, and yet, somehow, the WWE (of all groups) decided it would be a good fit for their stable of stars. Even though it barely made its budget back when you factor in the worldwide gross. 

• Nice to see them recap the original movie with a TV segment called "Are They Still Cool?" 
  
• Okay, as a livelong Chicagoan, I have to fucking ask: are regular surf classes like Cobra Kai?
  
• So, it's the Hang 5 that inspired Cody as a kid. Presumably Big Z stopped existing at some point. 
  
• Seriously? Mr. McMahon? The UNdertaker? So, they're playing themselves? As surfing penguins and not wrestlers? 
  
• In fairness, unlike a lot of these horrible sequels, they at least did have some voice actors return. Granted, it's just Diedrich Baker's Tank and Jon Heder's Chicken Joe. But it's still two more than a lot of these sequels do. 
  
• They're really dwelling on the image of drinking the milk from a fish.
  
  
  
• Also, how the fuck did this make it into a kid's movie?
  
• I will give it this, I thought the Hang Five want Chicken Joe and not Cody, but they actually wanted Lani.
  
• Okay, so I just fall asleep in the middle of the movie and everybody's randomly fighting for the chance to join the Hang Five and one of them is just pitching Fightin Round the World?
  
• Ideas to go around the big fucking pit of magma? I dunno, just find another way around it? 
  
• So, Cody needs to re-learn the lesson about the power of Friendship? Even though he learned the same lesson in the previous movie?
  
• How was Chicken Joe's Cody's board the only casualty of this fucking hang glide through a lake of fucking magma? 
  
• Trying to surf during a major thunderstorm?  It's not like they're surrounded by something that conducts electricity. 
  
• WAit? Lifeguards do the Hippocratic Oath in this universe? 
  
• Chicken Joe, those are fucking Jellyfish, go get some electric eels if you need a Cartoon-friendly marine life defibrilator.
  
• They're going to surf a tsunami? That's fucking impossible.
  

The two choices for next week: Star Trek: Section 31 and Steven Segal abomination Ticker.