The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Star Trek: Section 32. I had to take the week off because I had to deal with a full season of Black Mirror that I'm halfway through writing a review of. Also worth noting: I'm not a fan of Star Trek, FTR. Not that I have anything against the franchise; it's just that the sheer volume of material I'd have to work through is TERRIFYING. When I had to explain why I never actually watched the series in the wake of the release of USS Callister it was simple: 736 hours. And with four separate Star Trek Series starting and ending in the intervening years, it's safe to assume that the prospect just gets more and more daunting. So, don't expect me to know the full depths of the shit that this movie, which takes place in between seasons of Discovery. Most everything I know about the franchise comes from videos by former Channel Awesome reviewers.

• Okay, so apparently, this Asian girl is winning a contest that we've never had explained to us, and now she's got the power over life and death?
  
• Well, I guess it's nice to finally see some exposition into what the fuck is going on 10 minutes into this 95 minute film.
  
• I've only watched a single episode of Star Trek in my life, but I have to ask: why does it seem so much like a slower version of Pluto Nash?
  
• And now Michelle Yeoh's just acting like Danny Ocean?
  
• So, you've got a Vulcan, a species infamous for not being emotional, and you introduce him laughing his head off? How do you fuck that up? 
  
• And you've given the Vulcan an Irish accent, and, somehow, he's just the one putting the most emotion in his performance? Did they just find an old script in the slush pile and shoehorn it into a Star Trek film?
  

Well, I fell asleep quickly.  Hopefully, Ticker will give me more material to work with.