Thanks for the replies everyone. So I should clear up a couple of things.
The first is that my girlfriend has no problem with my beliefs. As I said, she was quite liberal when I met her and has got more so during our time together. She is also openly critical of many aspects of Christianity, and of intolerance in general. I have absolutely no intention of splitting up with her over this, as we respect each other's views and honestly, she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I have absolutely no doubt that she will support me and her first reaction was that she needed to state clearly to her mom that her position is unacceptable and that she will have to respect my girlfriend's decision to be with me. As I implied in my first post, my girlfriend also has a lot that she needs to share with her mom about how her own views have changed, that we are now living together, etc. We both agree that she should have both of these conversations before the wedding, and she is also certain she is not going to be a bridesmaid (due to the issues they have been having as well as her not accepting me). She has challenged her mom in the past about evolution, morality, politics, etc but has generally steered clear of actually admitting that she doesn't believe in God as much any more. So whilst there are things she has avoided, this has been part of a long progression for her over the last 10 years, and they have communicated so little at points that religion was nowhere near the highest priority thing to talk about.
Obviously we will have to see how those conversations go, but at this stage I think her expectation is to state clearly that it is not acceptable that I cant go, to turn down the offer of being a bridesmaid, and to go to the wedding. To be honest I couldn't afford the travel/accommodation for the wedding anyway so even if she said "I'm not going unless he can" it would be a bit of an empty threat.
Any further thoughts?
The first is that my girlfriend has no problem with my beliefs. As I said, she was quite liberal when I met her and has got more so during our time together. She is also openly critical of many aspects of Christianity, and of intolerance in general. I have absolutely no intention of splitting up with her over this, as we respect each other's views and honestly, she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I have absolutely no doubt that she will support me and her first reaction was that she needed to state clearly to her mom that her position is unacceptable and that she will have to respect my girlfriend's decision to be with me. As I implied in my first post, my girlfriend also has a lot that she needs to share with her mom about how her own views have changed, that we are now living together, etc. We both agree that she should have both of these conversations before the wedding, and she is also certain she is not going to be a bridesmaid (due to the issues they have been having as well as her not accepting me). She has challenged her mom in the past about evolution, morality, politics, etc but has generally steered clear of actually admitting that she doesn't believe in God as much any more. So whilst there are things she has avoided, this has been part of a long progression for her over the last 10 years, and they have communicated so little at points that religion was nowhere near the highest priority thing to talk about.
Obviously we will have to see how those conversations go, but at this stage I think her expectation is to state clearly that it is not acceptable that I cant go, to turn down the offer of being a bridesmaid, and to go to the wedding. To be honest I couldn't afford the travel/accommodation for the wedding anyway so even if she said "I'm not going unless he can" it would be a bit of an empty threat.
Any further thoughts?
