I am also awed at nature and the universe but I wouldn't define it as "spiritual", just..."awe".
You are confusing me when you also describe yourself as a pantheist? Please define pantheism.
You are confusing me when you also describe yourself as a pantheist? Please define pantheism.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.