My 'born again' story. Theological explanation?

[Drich]

Let me see if I can summarize. You asked God to help you have a life changing "real experience." However you thought it had to be framed in the misery of others in such a way as to make you want to help them out of their situation, and as a reward you wanted a relationship with a specific girl in exchange. Then because you had a moment where you began to understand His love, you saw it as a sign that you will have your wishes granted??

What if having your heart broke by this girl was apart of your original prayer request? In that you wanted a real experience or a real relationship with God. What if you need to learn that God does not work like you think He should. What if you seeking God with a broken heart and with a despondency to your personal stereotype of God, is what it takes to lay the right foundation needed to answer your first prayer? Are you really willing to sacrifice your feelings for this girl for what you really asked for?
or
are you simply trying to fool God into giving you what you really want, and if you do not get it you pout and refuse to believe in Him?? That you "fall to reason." That if thier is a God He will grant you your wish because of "How Faithful" you were to Him on your mission trip?

Bottom line question do you really love God more than the girl you followed to God? Or are you using God to get what you want?