The scariest conspiracy, is the conspiracy of conspiracy theories.

[Minimalist]

Well, My Grandmother would cook spaghetti bolognase.

But she wouldn't use tomatoes, or tomato paste, or spices, or onions, or anything with flavour for that matter.

So you basically got a plate of spaghetti with mince meat in grey sauce on top.

Yum.......

That's how my ma made it too. When she was being really adventurous she'd add a tin of heinz baked beans and call it chilli con carne... even though there were no spices of any description in it.

My son was driving cross-country a few years ago and mentioned that he stopped at some place in fucking Iowa and ordered chicken parmigiano. He said it was a chicken breast with a can of what looked like tomato soup and a slice of American cheese on top. I called him a schmuck and told him to never order Italian food anywhere west of Jersey City unless you are in Chicago, proper.