Quick question: How do I deal with children?

[Eilonnwy]

I've had two very different roommate experiences before moving back in with my mom to help her keep the house. The first situation was with two close friends and we were always open with each other so we could approach each other about issues. It was a nice living situation except sharing a room, especially when she got a boyfriend. It was intended to be temporary anyway.

I eventually found a place on craigslist and moved in with strangers. One, who happened to have the same name as me, we got along fairly well. The other, she was a slob and there were issues. We didn't have a dishwasher, so dishes would pile up. I didn't cook often, so my contribution would often be minimal, but we had a way of just cleaning all the dishes at random intervals and usually everyone cleaned them all at some point.

Then I got sick for a week and the other girl didn't do anything, (In fact, if I remember correctly I had just developed lactose intolerance at the time and didn't know what it was, so I was throwing up every other meal. Not. Fun.) So Jackie got pissed off and reacted by removing all her dishes and took some of mine as a result, thinking they were hers, which in turn pissed me off. When I asked her where the dishes went she said no one was cleaning so she took hers. Of course to me this was childish, because I'm used to people telling me about issues and not using this passive aggressive manner. I was furious but I calmed down my thoughts, wrote a reasonable email to her and came up with a plan to address it. We brought the slob roommate into the discussion and things were generally better.

My piece of advice is to get everyone involved. First, talk to the roommates who you feel comfortable with and discuss the problem. Second, decide how best to approach the other roommates. Third, come up with a cleaning schedule that suits everyone. Lastly, approach the roommates as a group. That will always come across better than an individual, because if it's just you it's perceived as "That guy is an asshole", if it's a group, then it's more likely to be perceived as "Maybe there is a problem here" and the problem people might be more willing to listen and participate.

I hope my advice helps.