Day #3 Out of the Closet

[FallentoReason]

Because I can see the happiness she gets out of religion

But what if she can find that happiness elsewhere? You can't know what she might experience. She's probably stronger than you imagine.

Stronger in what sense?

What's more important; happiness or the truth?

It's a false dicotomy. One does not exclude the other. A drug addict is undoubtedly happy at times, but is his happiness healthy?

I know on the surface it's a false dichotomy. That's why I expanded my thought to include the possibility that she might be just as happy (or happier) knowing the truth. But at what cost?

I feel like I might have to rebuild my life.

We all od that all the time. It's called growing up, and it's the only way not to suffer when childish illusions are shattered. Life is nothing but building, changing and rebuilding again.

This is true, but I guess part of my problem is that in a way I'm deciding for them that they might have to go down this path of mass rebuilding like I'll have to. I don't want to carry that burden.

if her "world" is destroyed then I'm confident that she will face hardships that will make her anything but happy like she is right now.

Or maybe she will just ignore your ideas and move on. Or even be happier after she becomes more mentally aware about the weaknesses of her religion. You can't know that for sure. The only thing that you know is that she, as a human beings and even more so as friend, deserves respect and to be treated as an equal, neither as an object of scorn (and you got that part right) nor as a precious snowflake.

If she's an adult (and I suppose she is) , then she's mature enough to have a civil conversation about her philosophy. Thinking otherwise would be insulting for her intelligence and emotional maturity.

Yeah, I guess I mostly agree with what you say here.

I can't really date any of the girls I know anymore because so much of our views on life conflict.

It's not necessarily true. I had a religious girlfriend and I never had problems about our conflicting views. The only problems we had were personal ones.

Each to their own I suppose. My problem is though that I'm surrounded by girls who think the world is the way it is because a woman who never had a childhood bit an apple. Things are just bound to go wrong between a fundie and a hybrid Deist.

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So many problems over such an insignificant thing...
In case you haven't yet noticed, I'm an atheist.
A few years ago, I married a nice catholic girl. She knows my point of view quite well, but she still goes to church every Sunday. So we clash on that detail of "world view".... we are just so right on so many other aspects that it becomes irrelevant.

If your girl's faith is that weak, then it might just be a good thing to get rid of it... or maybe it will just get strengthened. You just never know the outcome of these things...

I guess I should maybe let each of my friends have a chance to discuss with me. They're all obviously different people with differing resistances to cognitive dissonance (where the higher the resistance, the harder it is to shake them from their belief). Something just gives me this gut feeling that it isn't right to alter the path they've chosen though...