Coming out of the Atheist closet...

[Eywa]

In the last few years, things havent gone so well in my dads life, so he recently revived his Christian faith, and since then, his life seems to be looking up, but more on this later.

Im a child of mixed ethnicity, my father is African, my mother European/Korean, and in America, it seems like there absolutely no black atheists, because religion is so deeply ingrained in their culture, with this being the case, my father is an EXTREME bible basher.

For most of my life, i was a little christian boy, going to church and praying, but only because i feared that if i didnt, something bad would happen to my family. I never felt the "Holy Spirit" in church, i only saw idiots worshipping something that is completely illogical and idiotic. I saw the church for what it was, a brainwashing tool to control the people, so i one day decided, "f*ck it. im not wasting my life with this bullsh*t anymore.", and here i am, an Atheist.

Now back to my dad. Whenever he sees a Muslim, a Jew, or any other non Christian, he shuns them and lectures me on how theyre going to hell, when he sees a "COEXIST" bumper sticker he flips out and goes into what i call a "Jesus fit" :p But when he sees an atheist, he cant do anything but curse them.

With me being atheist, i cant stand his preaching to me everyday, forcing me to go to church whenever possible, and i want to just tell him im atheist, but aside from the whole Jesus bullcrap, i really love my dad, and i feel if i tell him, he'll basically disown me, and cut all contact, or try to convert me to Christianity.

I dont want to disappoint him, and i dont want to keep suffering the stupidity. What do i do?

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

I dont want to disappoint him, and i dont want to keep suffering the stupidity. What do i do?

I've dated a number of african women and religion seems to be a common thread among their culture, despite literally being on differing ends of the same continent, so I really do understand what you mean when you say that their faith is ingrained in their culture.

But I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Don't lie to him.
If you're not a christian regardless of anything else, it's not going to be beneficial to you and certainly not him to base your relationship with one another on a lie. Even if your relationship suffers because of the truth, at least that relationship will be based on honesty.

If you lie to him, you'll be lying to him and yourself every single moment of every day until he discovers otherewise or you come clean and I guarentee he'll be hurt that much more to not only discover the truth, but also discover that you've been lying all this time to him.

I'm not saying you should confront him, but if the subject ever comes up, you should definately not hold back for his sake or yours. That's my advice to you.

[Scented Nectar]

Im a child of mixed ethnicity, my father is African, my mother European/Korean, and in America, it seems like there absolutely no black atheists, because religion is so deeply ingrained in their culture, with this being the case, my father is an EXTREME bible basher.

There doesn't seem to be many who are open about it yet, but I think it's starting to happen. Here's a couple of youtubes by http://www.youtube.com/user/greydonsquare, the first one is called Black Atheist. The second one below, Stockholm Syndrome, has a very catchy chorus, but the words kind of make me cry, not that that seems to stop me from listening again and again.

[youtube]1BlQb50qLRM[/youtube]

[youtube]dG-fxbEdOAU[/youtube]

I see there are 3 new ones at GreydonSquare's page that I haven't heard yet. So many youtubers, so little time....

---

But I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Don't lie to him.

I'd normally agree with this, but if Eywa is still living with them, then it might not be a good idea. People have gotten kicked out by their parents for that in some cases. Also, the disowning part is a real threat too. If there is money to be inheritted someday, it might be worth it to keep quiet. Yeah, I know, I am totally cold hearted, but practical. With difficulty, I stayed on my bitch of a mother' s good side for years, going against my personal integrity, for no other reason but to get her money when she croaked a couple years ago. Now I have my first condo of my own ever (even though I'm already in my late 40s). It was completely worth it, in retrospect.

[Spencer]

My Grandfather is a baptist pastor and my mom has grown up debating the bible with every missionary that came knocking to our door, so she would freak if I told her so I feel your pain. I am lucky enough though to live 3000 miles away from them. Im sure she would pull the bible out to show me where I was wrong, problem is it wouldn't mean any more to me if she was quoting chapters from a harry potter book.

Id have to agree with Scented Nectar. But only you could know if the outcome of "coming out" to your parents is worth the backlash.

[Cego_Colher]

I forgot about Greydon. :/ but I do like his Stockholm Syndrome.

anyway, I'm not sure what advice to give. I don't like outright lying, but if there is a possibility of being disowned I don't suggest the complete truth. Maybe you could somehow gradually tell him. I don't know, Try picking the stupidest thing he believes and be like "I don't think that make sense because...." Or something. Not sure if that is a good idea, but it's all I got.

[yuriythebest]

I personally would wait till I was above 18/21 and had my own house - it's a risky business

[William_Saskibar]

In the last few years, things havent gone so well in my dads life, so he recently revived his Christian faith, and since then, his life seems to be looking up, but more on this later.

Im a child of mixed ethnicity, my father is African, my mother European/Korean, and in America, it seems like there absolutely no black atheists, because religion is so deeply ingrained in their culture, with this being the case, my father is an EXTREME bible basher.

For most of my life, i was a little christian boy, going to church and praying, but only because i feared that if i didnt, something bad would happen to my family. I never felt the "Holy Spirit" in church, i only saw idiots worshipping something that is completely illogical and idiotic. I saw the church for what it was, a brainwashing tool to control the people, so i one day decided, "f*ck it. im not wasting my life with this bullsh*t anymore.", and here i am, an Atheist.

Now back to my dad. Whenever he sees a Muslim, a Jew, or any other non Christian, he shuns them and lectures me on how theyre going to hell, when he sees a "COEXIST" bumper sticker he flips out and goes into what i call a "Jesus fit" :p But when he sees an atheist, he cant do anything but curse them.

With me being atheist, i cant stand his preaching to me everyday, forcing me to go to church whenever possible, and i want to just tell him im atheist, but aside from the whole Jesus bullcrap, i really love my dad, and i feel if i tell him, he'll basically disown me, and cut all contact, or try to convert me to Christianity.

I dont want to disappoint him, and i dont want to keep suffering the stupidity. What do i do?

I thought the same exact thing would happen to my father and I when i told him. I kept it from him for a long time. But, when I did tell him, he surprised me. He kinda supported me, but, most of all, understood. I understand you love your father, but if you present a reasonable argument and reasons, and respect his religion and beliefs then you should be fine. It's important you tell him.

[downbeatplumb]

Maybe you should give him subltle clues, like reading the god delusion in front of him or something.

But its a tough one.

I wish you luck.

And

We've got a closet now?