RE: sex before marriage
January 5, 2013 at 5:08 am
(This post was last modified: January 5, 2013 at 5:34 am by Al-Fatihah.)
(January 4, 2013 at 9:25 pm)Dee Dee Ramone Wrote: But the reality is that people seem to love having sex for lust with or without love, so what's wrong with that?
Response: What's wrong is that lust is the idea of having sex to please yourself, not to please your partner, thus using a person sexually. The use of someone sexually leads to the most devistating and emotionally damaging feelings becuase they are being used for sex.
(January 4, 2013 at 11:53 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: Yet this Islamic world is full of arranged marriages, where love isn't even a factor at all. My girlfriend and I love each other. Some girl who is the third wife to a man 20 years older than her, whom she doesn't even know, isn't in love with him. If those are the real reason for this prohibition that the Islamic world fails miserably.
The real reason for this ban in Islam or any other religion is that if a religion can control your sex life then they can control you completely. Your sex life is so personal. Would you let your parents control it? Your friends? Then why are you letting your religion?
Response: There is nothing wrong in having one's sex life controlled when the control is simply to prevent the act of being used sexually. Furthermore, arranged marriages is not an islamic concept, but a cultural concept.
(January 5, 2013 at 2:30 am)paulpablo Wrote: This sounds very romantic but when you remember that a muslim man can have four wives i have trouble believing that this sort of relationship wouldnt be totally based on using one another. The women for the mans money who can support 4 wives and the man using the women for sex.
But besides that the question was actually why most muslims seem to me at least to not take the rule against sex before marriage seriously.
Response: It is not just a muslim thing not to take the rule against sex before marriage seriously, for all men of all backgrounds do it. And like those who do it, they don't take it seriously because they want the pleasure of sex, without the responsibility of taking care of their spouse as written in a marriage contract.
Regarding 4 wives, the purpose of multiple wives in islam is based on the idea to protect women since men are to be the providers and protectors of women. The rule of 4 wives came at a time when there was no limit to having wives so if it was based on lust, then a limitation would have never been placed. Islam understands that there are more women than men in the world, so the idea of one man marrying another woman would never work to begin with, because there would be thousands of women who can't get husbands. Now if someone decides to take advantage of having one more than one wife simply to have more sex, than I too agree that this is wrong, but that was never the concept of having 4 wives in islam. It was to ensure that all women are able to have a man to love and protect them, especially at a time when men many men would mistreat women as if they were property.
Let's not forget that the command to marry up to 4 wives comes after the command to do so if one can not take care of the orphans and also says that if a person can not be just with more than one wife, then marry only one. This further shows than the concept to marry more than one wife is too love and protect the women who are poor and unprotected like orphans, not for sexual reasons. Notice the rule of also marrying only one, a law that is only stipulated in the scriptures of islam, and not in any other religious scripture.
