Oh dear god. . .

[Aegrus]

It's not just you. You're practically a woman... personalizing everything I say about wide swaths of people

Honestly: be yourself. Even if you're like this serial rapist hooker... if you are that and are just lying to yourself and us? Stahp.

That's easy to say. People actually like you. Can you imagine how you'd feel if, after about twenty years of being yourself, there was not a single person in the world who cared about you? If every single person who you'd tried to get close to had ended up thinking of you as some sort of pathetic freak?

For the record, I've been myself during my entire life. I've been myself on this forum. I just have a "self" which people don't like.

I think it's impossible to not internalize that kind of thing. It would be ridiculous if I blamed the entire world for my problems, so I must be doing something to cause them. I just don't know what, because it's not something obvious, like me being a serial rapist hooker.

I "converted" my account today in an effort to piss people off enough that they'd stop worrying about how I felt and start insulting me with ad hominem attacks. I did this because I can't think of any other way to figure out what's wrong with me. Every single forum I ask on just says "Be yourself." I have no friends to ask. My family doesn't want anything to do with me. My (former) psychiatrist had no idea.

And I'm quite sure at this point that people are going to be more irritated by this comment than sympathetic, because I spent all day pissing people off and whining.

And now I have to end this comment, because my tears are messing up the scroll-pad on my laptop. I'm not kidding.