Religion and LGBT people

[Mystical]

Hm. I'm a woman. Perhaps you need a woman's view here.
What exactly, are you trying to say with your purported study?

Because from personal experience I can tell you that I was bi my entire life,
but only admitted to it in adulthood. Admitted it to myself, in adulthood. I have
yet to admit it to anyone besides myself and one other person, for good reason.
All of my families' and friends' suspicions would be confirmed and I simply don't want
to deal with that right now. I'm still ashamed of it, for some unknown reason. Mainly
because I don't want the girls I've hung out with my entire life, to think I was tricking
them somehow, because I'm not going to lie: I did enjoy the benefit of getting to see them
naked just because I was a girl.

I would call myself as being in denial. I knew I was bi deep down, but to hell if I
would admit that! Not only are we the procreating gender of the species, we're all
emotions. It's through sheer will that I denied myself indulgence of women,
but no matter how hard I tried or how wrong I thought it was (I was Christian!), I
would still kick myself every time I found myself looking at a girl more than a girl should.
I couldn't help it, it wasn't a choice. If it was a choice, then perhaps you could explain
to me how I had attraction to girls even before I knew what gay was? When I was a child
I literally had girlfriends. Come to find out in adulthood, they were bi too. But when we were
little we were Christian raised, and I honestly did not know what gay was until I was about 10yrs old.
Just because I didn't know what it was, doesn't denigrate the feelings or attractions that I had back then.
It wasn't until I was 17yrs old that I found out what Bi was.

Yes, I did live in a bubble, before you ask. I was homeschooled, went to Christian private schools, etc.

Once I finally figured out what I was, I didn't admit it for another 12yrs. Twelve years!
Come to think of it, my boyfriend at the Christian school: I always thought he was gay. He was my best friend, and knew more about clothes than me. Turns out he was gay. Poor guy had to deal with having a girlfriend just to dispel this horrible stigma at a Christian run school. I didn't mind much that he never kissed me, because I was more interested in the girls! It was just the way things had to be, so I could fit in with my environment. I fully believe that had I not had this stigmatizing sexuality complex, I wouldn't have even been interested in men at all. As it was, I had to acclimate myself to men over women out of sheer lack of choice, and in my teens I acquired my taste for men. I do like men. A lot, and actually way more. Just ask my fiancee. This doesn't change the fact that I like women too.


In conclusion, Mister John V, I think you need to re-examine your conclusions on the subject, not the other way around.
And just for the record, this is the first time I've blatantly said, any of this, to anyone. This is my coming out so to speak, and I'm 26!