Is it strange that I want there to be a God ?

[jap23]

It's not strange that you want God- it provides a lot of joy, guidance and comfort- my faith is often my only comfort in life, BUT If I was convinced not to believe God, I would NOT be able to tolerate the fact that I'm dedicating my life to a LIE! Even though I'd lose almost all my friends and I'd go into my new life alone, depressed, and unable to fit in with people... I'd prefer that rather than to live a lie. My point is, you cannot 'want' God into or out of existence- the truth is out there and it can ONLY be a GOOD thing!
But I can't go without saying: don't judge God by evil, sadistic, 'religious' nuts... study the whole bible like it's science (without presumptions, you'd be surprised to find how many lies have accumulated over the ages...), the whole thing- question everything ,and don't forget to seek the answer!- ask atheists and bible students when you're stuck. I personally have always found the answer after looking around... but that can change; I'm hoping that 'atheist forums' would provide some challenges- but don't ignore what Christians have to say either! With you being an atheist- I recommend you look for Christian apologetic forums...