(March 9, 2013 at 9:09 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Have a friend call the F.B.I. from a pay phone and tell them that there is a body buried in your back yard. When they arrive tell them you just bought the house and the back yard is a mess but they are free to dig wherever they like. Offer to sign a consent form so they don't have to get a warrant. They'll like that.
When they are done, go rake it out.
Nice to see you again, dear.
I laughed my ass off when I first read this, but then I participated in mind altering activities, and actually pondered this as seriously as I could. I thought about my location and decided that there is a possibility that there might be a body in the yard, and I don't want to know about it. It would make for an uncomfortable mixture of interesting, creepy and sad. Not to mention it might become an intrusion, unworthy of it's ends.
I do live directly across the street from a construction company, and my house faces the lot where they keep their backhoes. I have considered "borrowing" one, but I would probably just fuck something up. Those schemes don't even work on television.
Whateverist, I like the idea of the pulverized granite paths and the play area in the center. I just got them a trampoline, so I have to go out tomorrow and dig the shitty lawn level. Thanks for the advice everyone!
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