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Acquaintances that want your work for free
#1
Acquaintances that want your work for free
Too long to read. If you don't want to read it all, you can pick parts of it to read. Lol!

The "here's this, so you can relate to my rant" part:




The "here's my complaint" part



The "how I bring you into the conversation" part


"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#2
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
OMG yes. I feel you all over the place.

Now that I've graduated from school and passed my state boards (before graduating even), once I get my licensure, all the bullshit will start. It's what compelled me to write a post about it on facebook a while back. So here's my rant:

I have student loans to the tune of 18K to pay back. I have kids to feed and bills to pay. So, friends and family, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT get pissed off because you want me to do your hair for free and I say no. Do NOT get mad when I charge you full price for what I do. I didn't just go to school to learn how to cut hair. I had to learn chemistry, anatomy, diseases, chemicals, how to do an 8 step blood spill procedure on a fucking cut. I had to learn the difference between a relaxer containing lye and a "no lye" relaxer. I had to learn the difference between perms requiring the use of heat and ones that don't and on which type of hair to use which type of perm on. I had to know what a metallic salt test was and why it's important that you can spot a boxed dye job on your client's head even when they lie to you and tell you they don't use box color. Yeah. WE KNOW. We've been trained for your lies people. If we weren't, your hair would turn to mush and you'd be bald in a New York minute because you wanted us to raise your 3N hair color to platinum blonde in ONE day. Ain't gonna happen sweet cheeks.

So don't come at me and tell me that I should give you that discount because we are friends or because we are related. I had to learn so many things that I deserve to be paid for my expertise. I deserve to make the amount of money I believe my talents are worth. If you don't like my prices, go elsewhere. It's that simple.

The double process and then the fashion color I used on my own hair also was done using Olaplex. It's highly expensive and on anyone else's head, I would have charged at least $250 to start. I paid for my products. I spent four hours on my own head with NO help. Why don't I pay myself? Because it's MY head and I AM the one working on it. So yes - I do my own head for free minus the cost of products used. But you? You get to pay for my experience. Period.

/rant.

Also let me include that you are essentially asking me to work for free on my day off, and then you don't even want to fully compensate me for the products I have used? Nope sorry. And I fully expect a proper tip from you after I am finished or you can find someone else to reformulate your color for you because I won't be doing your hair again in the future.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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#3
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
I'm the opposite. I hate asking friends and acquaintances for favors. I know a garden design/install guy who can grow anything. He once told me his 'recipe' for amending soil so that pincushion flowers will grow in it. (Very tricky and easy to kill.) As a result I've had one alive for a few years now. Never thought I'd go to all that trouble again. But then I decided to make another raised bed planter to grow a couple more. For the life of me I couldn't find his recipe which I got through Fb comments. So I sent him a message that way but I left him lots of outs. You know, "if you're not too busy" so if I don't hear back he's covered. But today he responded and gave me of the recipe again. Hell, if the plants die I would never let him know and certainly wouldn't blame him in any way. I asked him as a friend, not in his capacity as a landscape expert. For that, I should be a paying customer.
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#4
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
(March 10, 2017 at 1:00 am)Whateverist Wrote: I'm the opposite.  I hate asking friends and acquaintances for favors.  I know a garden design/install guy who can grow anything.  He once told me his 'recipe' for amending soil so that pincushion flowers will grow in it.  (Very tricky and easy to kill.)  As a result I've had one alive for a few years now.  Never thought I'd go to all that trouble again.  But then I decided to make another raised bed planter to grow a couple more.  For the life of me I couldn't find his recipe which I got through Fb comments.  So I sent him a message that way but I left him lots of outs.  You know, "if you're not too busy" so if I don't hear back he's covered.  But today he responded and gave me of the recipe again.  Hell, if the plants die I would never let him know and certainly wouldn't blame him in any way.  I asked him as a friend, not in his capacity as a landscape expert.  For that, I should be a paying customer.

... and you didn't ask him to do it FOR you. I have trouble asking for favors, too. Needing help pains me. I getchu!
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#5
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
I think you need to practice "being a jerk". Let it be okay with you not to be seen as a really nice gal who will do anything for you.

I used to be the same way. It is still an impulse, but more often now I take care of myself by just saying no.
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#6
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
Actual conversation: Hey Alex old buddy, haven't seen you in two years! My computer is broken!
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#7
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
(March 10, 2017 at 1:13 am)Alex K Wrote: Actual conversation: Hey Alex old buddy, haven't seen you in two years! My computer is broken!

Daaaaaaaaaang. That's rough.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#8
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
I have a client like that, it's the worst. She pays on the reg so I'm reticent to let her go, but she can be legit unbearable to deal with too, like forgetting what individual payments were for, so that I need to bring up the conversations in written form to convince her I don't actually have to do anything more for her. Her lack of professional boundaries make it worse, she flips me from being friend to being employee whenever it suits her: if I don't want to tailor a specific piece a certain way, it's "I thought we were friends," but when I'm not around to take her call right away it's "I've paid you thousands of dollars, you can't do this to me, blah blah..."

So I have professional boundaries for my client interactions now. Business hours during weekdays only for business calls. And she pays half up front, with all interactions on that end being in writing. I don't have time to be playing the "what can benefit someone else the most this exact second?" game with anyone, let alone her.
"YOU take the hard look in the mirror. You are everything that is wrong with this world. The only thing important to you, is you." - ronedee

Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!
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#9
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
"You're a surgeon?"

"Yes."

“Can I ask some advice?"

"certainly. What bit needs removing?"
Dying to live, living to die.
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#10
RE: Acquaintances that want your work for free
When I was performing, requests for freebies were rampant. I never minded playing charity dos and so on for free, but I'd get asked to perform at weddings, parties, etc, 'as a favour'. One incident ended a friendship - a former friend who was a solicitor helped me out with a minor legal problem and was pretty damned insistent about getting paid (nothing wrong with that). A year or so later, she approached me about playing her sister's wedding reception, and was shocked at the price I quoted her (half my base fee at the time). Her response was something like, 'But we've known each other for years!', as if that was relevant.

Boru
‘Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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