@saerules.
No one has an innate right to be or do anything.
Your dad is an arsehole in his own house because he can be.
I grew up in a house like that.The rules included a curfew, waht friends I had,going to church,as well as what I wore and when I had my hair cut. It was the 1960's.
I left home 18 and went to work in another state. Sadly, parents like yours and mine don't realise that their kids are going to grow and resenting the hell out of that treatment may never forgive them.
My father is dead, and I still haven't forgiven him for a lot of stuff.
Your family sounds a little dysfunctional, as was mine.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get as far away from them as as soon as you can. Check out this stuff below to decide if the label fits a bit,a lot or not at all.:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysfunctional_family
No one has an innate right to be or do anything.
Your dad is an arsehole in his own house because he can be.
I grew up in a house like that.The rules included a curfew, waht friends I had,going to church,as well as what I wore and when I had my hair cut. It was the 1960's.
I left home 18 and went to work in another state. Sadly, parents like yours and mine don't realise that their kids are going to grow and resenting the hell out of that treatment may never forgive them.
My father is dead, and I still haven't forgiven him for a lot of stuff.
Your family sounds a little dysfunctional, as was mine.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get as far away from them as as soon as you can. Check out this stuff below to decide if the label fits a bit,a lot or not at all.:
Quote:Examples of a dysfunctional family
* Denial (i.e. a refusal to acknowledge the alcoholism of a parent or child/teenager; ignoring complaints of sexual abuse; having a workaholic parent), also known as the "elephant in the room."
* Lack of empathy and understanding toward family members
* Lack of clear boundaries (i.e. throwing away personal possessions that belong to others, inappropriate physical boundaries, breaking important promises without just cause)
* Lack of equality and fairness toward younger family members (may include frequent appeasement at the expense of others or uneven enforcement of rules)
* Mixed Messages by having a dual system of values (i.e. one set for the outside world, another when in private, or teaching radically different values to each child.)
* Divorced or separated parents in continuous conflict, or parents who should separate, but do not (to the detriment of their children)
* Adulterous or promiscuous behavior regarding parents/teenagers
* Extremes in conflict (either too much or too little fighting between family members)
Signs of unhealthy parenting:[1]
* Disrespect
* Emotional intolerance (family members not allowed to express the "wrong" emotions)
* Ridicule
* Bitterness
* "I don't care"
* Either no or excessive criticism
* Discipline based more on one's emotions than established rules (i.e. punishment by "surprise")
* Setting a bedtime that is either excessively early or late for the child's age and sleeping requirements
Dysfunctional parenting styles:[2]
* Using (destructively narcissistic parents)
* Abusing (parents who use physical, emotional, or sexual violence to dominate their children)
* Perfectionist (fixating on order, prestige, power, and/or perfect appearances.)
* Appeasement (parents who reward bad behavior - even by their own standards, and inevitability punish another child's good behavior to maintain the peace)
* "Along for the ride" (a parent who does not care about their non-biological child, but must co-exist in the same home for the sake of their spouse or partner)
* "The guard dog" (a parent who blindly attacks anyone perceived as causing the slightest upset to their esteemed spouse, partner, or child)
Dynamics of dysfunctional families:
* Parents who frequently fight amongst themselves (even if divorced or separated)
* Parents vs. kids
* The balkanized family (named after the three-way war in the Balkans)
* Free-for-all (a family that fights in a free-for-all style)
The table below shows the symptoms of family dysfunction according to three sources (two taken from the same expert). Symptoms that are roughly equivalent are shown in the same row:
Symptoms of family dysfunction
Signs of unhealthy parenting:[1]
* Disrespect
* Emotional intolerance (family members not allowed to express the "wrong" emotions)
* Ridicule
* Bitterness
* "I don't care"
* Either no or excessive criticism
* Discipline based more on one's emotions than established rules (i.e. punishment by "surprise")
* Setting a bedtime that is either excessively early or late for the child's age and sleeping requirements
Dysfunctional parenting styles:[2]
* Using (destructively narcissistic parents)
* Abusing (parents who use physical, emotional, or sexual violence to dominate their children)
* Perfectionist (fixating on order, prestige, power, and/or perfect appearances.)
* Appeasement (parents who reward bad behavior - even by their own standards, and inevitability punish another child's good behavior to maintain the peace)
* "Along for the ride" (a parent who does not care about their non-biological child, but must co-exist in the same home for the sake of their spouse or partner)
* "The guard dog" (a parent who blindly attacks anyone perceived as causing the slightest upset to their esteemed spouse, partner, or child)
Dynamics of dysfunctional families:
* Parents who frequently fight amongst themselves (even if divorced or separated)
* Parents vs. kids
* The balkanized family (named after the three-way war in the Balkans)
* Free-for-all (a family that fights in a free-for-all style)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysfunctional_family
