Prove Christianity, not Theism in General

[Esquilax]

The fact is, the literal reading is the only one you can be absolutely sure was what was intended by the original authors.

Absolutely certain about that? You're trying to have it both ways. First you say the bible doesn't make sense if you take it literally, but then you insist it can only be read literally.

Those two things are exactly what I'm saying. The bible doesn't make any sense literally, which is precisely why you guys have to resort to metaphorical interpretations, but none of them are right either. The fact is, you're just covering up the contradictions and immorality with what feels good to you, you have absolutely zero authority to decide what is and isn't metaphor. And furthermore, you wouldn't accept this method from any other book, just your bible!

Imagine this: I am repairing a machine, using a manual to go through step by step (and I chose a nonfiction book for this example because you guys consider the bible to have real world consequences.) but you see that I'm skipping steps here and there, doing things differently on others, and just generally not following what the book says. So you ask me why, and I respond that I know that some parts of this manual are metaphor, so I'm justified in ignoring or altering them. Obviously your next question is how do I know that, right? Well, I answer that some guy told me so. Was the guy involved in constructing the machine, or writing the manual? No, no, he came later, but boy has he read the manual a lot!

After a moment's thought you call this labeling of passages as metaphorical arbitrary, and in response I get terribly offended and call you too lazy to understand the brilliance of this man's mind. Now, there's two questions I must ask: one, does this scenario seem ridiculous to you?

And more importantly, does that machine (let's just call it the soul, shall we?) work correctly when I turn it on, after ignoring the manual?

Just be honest and say you're either too indifferent or too lazy to understand anything beyond the Reader's Digest version.

You call it indifference, I call it honesty.