I feel like you are in the same situation I used to be in when I was younger, so I hope what I say helps you out. When I became an atheist I sank into a real deep depression that lasted for almost the entirety of my teenage years because I felt like my life held no meaning at all. I felt like no matter what I did the end result was moot because life in general was meaningless. In the grand scheme of the entire universe, my life and its actions were pointless. It really fucked me up for a while and I ended swallowing a bottle of pills. They decided to stick me in the crazy house for a while, and when I got out I had to go to a therapist. After about a year and a half of therapy I finally told him the root of my depression, that I felt that my life and all life was unimportant. There were more grains of sand on all the beaches in the world then planets in the universe, and I was just a speck. And he told me, "If your life doesn't matter, then why does that matter?" The fact that nothing in this universe matters, means that it doesn't matter if my life is worthless. It completely freed me up. I was so hung up on my life having no meaning that I never realized that I shouldn't care about it.
You seem to have a similar nihilistic viewpoint as I do, so let me tell you this. Your life is not priceless, it is worthless. But that is in fact a good thing. If you bought an expensive pair of pants you may only wear them a few times a year, and try your best to keep them clean and neat. But if you fish some jeans out of the trash you're willing to get some mud on them and put a few holes in them.
In the end though, live your life and live it how you want to.
You seem to have a similar nihilistic viewpoint as I do, so let me tell you this. Your life is not priceless, it is worthless. But that is in fact a good thing. If you bought an expensive pair of pants you may only wear them a few times a year, and try your best to keep them clean and neat. But if you fish some jeans out of the trash you're willing to get some mud on them and put a few holes in them.
In the end though, live your life and live it how you want to.
