I've struggled with the concept for suicide for many years with myself, two close friends, and my own mother. My mother suffers from bi-polar disorder and has been put into a clinic at one point after she had an episode that landed her in the hospital with terrible injuries to her hands. I was for the longest time, in a lot of fear for her life but never let it get the better of me because I had my own problems with depression. Having depression for the past five years has given me plenty of time to question the implications of suicide and to weigh the consequences against the benefits. While I've decided that my life is too great to just throw away, I have set up situations under which I'll just exit out early. It's not something I'm too afraid of anymore, it's just one more option that I have available to me. I figured there will be a year when I know it's my time. I'll wrap up all lose ends and leave on good terms. While I'm so comfortable with the idea of suicide, I've always seen it as a mental illness. The sole purpose of humans is to survive and procreate. At the end of the day, committing suicide is something external or internal over-powering the natural will to survive. The forces put on people on a constant basis are extreme if they're willing to kill themselves over it. I think society as a whole doesn't understand the pressures the general populace are under, or they just don't care.
Despite that, I'm convinced my susceptibility for suicide has more to do with my comfort in the idea rather than some over-arching mental illness. I'm not skulking around all day thinking of how I should kill myself, but the option is there when I'm ready.
Despite that, I'm convinced my susceptibility for suicide has more to do with my comfort in the idea rather than some over-arching mental illness. I'm not skulking around all day thinking of how I should kill myself, but the option is there when I'm ready.
