Shouldn't there be more Christians with eye patches?

[Strongbad]

Matthew 5:29
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for
thee that one of thy members should perish, and
not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Ahh...since this is obviously an "allegory" or "metaphor", and subsequently open to "interpretation", allow me:

The correct interpretation is:

And if thy right nut offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast if from thee: for it is profitable for
thee that one of thy blue balls should perish, and
not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Jesus was not allowed to refer directly to testicles.