One final attempt to try and get through to you guys

[Ben Davis]

My dad doesn't try to scare me with hell, my whole life he's said I'm going there.

Then he's trying to scare you with hell. Lying to yourself about it won't change anything.

But he's certainly thought me that it exists, and there are people going there. And I guess I worry he's right about hell (because he seems sooooo certain about it) but is wrong that I'm not going.

...and it seems that he's succeeded, unfortunately

But he is NOT at all abusive to me because of that.

Some people consider it to be child abuse. In some nations, 'extreme religious indoctrinations' (e.g. deliberately scaring the wits out of your children with threats of hell, satan, demons etc.) will be treated as abuses under the law and can be a contributing factor to parents losing the right to raise their children.

I don't have the mental capacity to research it myself. I have a mental illness that makes even some small things very overwhelming to me, yet alone something as massive as if there's a God or are my parents and everyone I know totally wrong about this.

...especially under these circumstances!! I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that a sensitive, caring parent would understand the additional stress that certain concepts might cause you and do their best to reduce or eliminate that stress.