(March 23, 2014 at 1:55 pm)leodeo Wrote: I used to be christian because i was always scared and depressed but in the end it was just more frustrating because then u begin to wonde why things still suck, and i tried to use christian cop outs liek free will and, it will get better, and god does care, but im 25 now and think about suicide everyday just like when i was 16.
so in the end i learned to accept reality, that for some people life is really great and for some people its a living hell....i looked up various suicide methods and unfortunately even suicide isn't as easy as you would think. People try to overdose and poison them selves but that is actually the LEAST effective method and can most times land u in hospital needing new kidneys and then possibly a civil commitment....
The best way to commit suicide statistically speaking is a shot gun to the head, however even that can be a living hell if you surivvie, i heard of a guy in my town who shot himself and lived, and its not a good story at all.
So i think u gotta decide whether life is bad enough now to where it is worth it to you to attempt a suicide knowing the risks, because IMO surviving a suicide would be worse than what i have now - so is the chance of freedom worth it? and what if after you survive you are in a condition where you can't attempt again?
So i decided even though i want to die everyday, i cant do it..but if u want to think about it here is a site that gives unbiased and realistic methods for suicides, statistics and outcomes:
http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/firearms
but since i cant do it, I've learned that acceptance is the best. Accept reality!
For me i accepted that this is my life and it sucks but just trynna to make teh best of it, i like to think that my heart beat is a timer and every beat is closer to death regardless, so it wont be living here for ever and after i die even though theres no heaven like i wanted, and even though none of my dreams will come true, at least all my pain will end so its a good thing.
Even my therapist told me that acceptance is a great thing because once u can accept u can move on and it doesn't bother u as much. and sooner or later we will all be dead so it doesnt matter so try not to feel sad about thigns because 200 years from now no one will even remember you unless you do something cool.
Every one of us is fighting some type of battle, on here. True story. It does take a lot of will to fight past those negative thoughts that creep up. Believing in reality will propel you to fixing things that you wish to/need to fix. To me, belief in a deity is a crutch that yes, totally provides some comfort here and there, but it doesn't remove the problems. In fact, it might cause a person to ignore the problem, and just pray about it, not doing anything to change their lives.
Your life is what YOU make of it. Maybe volunteer somewhere. I have found when we are helping others, however that may be, our problems don't disappear, but it helps us find a different perspective. Seeing others in need, can help you to not feel alone, also.
I hope you find a way to find some joy in your life. It can be tough sometimes, but stay the course.
