The Historical Jesus is real and He rose from the grave

[Minimalist]

I personally have nothing to repent for. Every time some christian arsehole tells us to repent, he or she is actually telling us we're bad people and implying that the christian is better than us.

It's a lie and an insult ... and a damn stupid way to try to recruit followers.

What the Christian is actually doing is trying to convince you that you have a disease so he/she can try to sell you the cure. You see, Christianity would cease to exist if it couldn't convince people that there is something from which they need saving.

Ah, yes.

What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: he gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell.
— H L Mencken