Modern Feminism

[max-greece]

Nora,

I don't really have a problem with anything you've said but just a couple of points:

I'm a "modern feminist" and I love pink. I have a pink version of anything that comes in pink.

The problem with pink is when it's pushed on little girls "because they're girls" and blue is pushed on boys "because they're boys". Why should we shove children into gender stereotypes to the point where we actually colour-code them?

I guess it comes down to the child in question. When my daughter was born she was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Clothes poured in - most pink. She loved it. Then, suddenly, about 5 years ago she announced that she never wanted to see pink again and purple was where it was at.

No biggie - but we drew the line at re-decorating her room in purple - we compromised on a gentle shade of green.

If I have a son, he'll definitely wear pink sometimes because pink is a lovely colour. If I have a girl, she'll probably wear blue sometimes because blue can also be a nice colour. I didn't have pink things given to me all the time when I was a kid, I was left to be myself, and my love of pink has nothing to do with having a vagina. For some women, their favourite colour is pink because someone in their childhood told them that it should be.

Again see above - but I think its best to let the child choose the colour he or she wants to wear if its important to them.

There's nothing wrong with being feminine, it's the trying to make other people feminine that's the issue. Women who judge other women for not wearing make up, not owning like 10+ pairs of shoes and handbags, not owning a single dress to wear, not paying someone to do their hair and nails, etc. that's the problem. Or women who only do all that feminine stuff because Cosmo told them they're not worth shit if they're not all girly, and attractive to men. Meanwhile their feet hurt and they're broke because of it all.

I'm very glad you wrote that. I do not think the pressure comes from men at all. Cosmo's idea of what is appealing to men is probably not what is actually appealing to men.

In the patriarchy, women are meant to hang around looking as pretty as possible until a man claims her, then she's supposed to be some kind of personal slave/whore/babyvendingmachine for her husband. We see this system backfire on men who actually want to do some of the things that the patriarchy only wants women to do.

Agreed - but I think this is a problem that has largely passed its sell-by date. My wife has been a high powered professional for the last 28 years or so - rather more high powered than me actually.

Are you a man who wants custody of your kid after a breakup? Nope. L That's "women's work"!
You want to take a year off work to bond with/look after your new baby? Of course not, only mothers get to do that. We wouldn't want to encourage any kind of" role reversal" now, would we? It might lead to equality! But here, have two weeks so you can help out a bit until mummy can walk again.
Then, when people notice this crap, somehow women are blamed. Excuse me, who makes these rules again?

What rules? We never faced any rules. I run the household and have done for the last 7 years or so. When my daughter was born my wife did the first 6 weeks then I took over. Women's work? That would be no - just work and we allocate it according to who is best at it.