This dilemma reared its ugly head in my last relationship. The man's family was hugely fundie and though my atheism didn't bother him (too much), his family hated it. They are of the sort who pray when a mouse farts. He moved in with me, so my house, my rules.
Whenever we visited his family members, I participated in the dumb ritual to the extent of hand-holding, but I wouldn't bow my head or close my eyes. More than once, I caught someone checking me out to see what I was up to during the proceedings. My usual response was to smile and wink at them. They always looked shocked.
When they started up with the nonsense at my house, I drew the line. I explained to my SO that they were welcome to pray as that was their habit, but to not include me in it. I would find a convenient way to be away from the table and unavailable for that portion of the program. I thought this was a fair solution, but they always seemed terribly uncomfortable about it. Oh, well. It was the best I could do.
One of the things I really dislike about this praying silliness is how it co-opts the non-participant to, well, participate. From that, there is the usual bootstrapping that this in some way legitimizes their point of view. I won't do it.
We broke up. And yes, religion had everything to do with it.
Whenever we visited his family members, I participated in the dumb ritual to the extent of hand-holding, but I wouldn't bow my head or close my eyes. More than once, I caught someone checking me out to see what I was up to during the proceedings. My usual response was to smile and wink at them. They always looked shocked.
When they started up with the nonsense at my house, I drew the line. I explained to my SO that they were welcome to pray as that was their habit, but to not include me in it. I would find a convenient way to be away from the table and unavailable for that portion of the program. I thought this was a fair solution, but they always seemed terribly uncomfortable about it. Oh, well. It was the best I could do.
One of the things I really dislike about this praying silliness is how it co-opts the non-participant to, well, participate. From that, there is the usual bootstrapping that this in some way legitimizes their point of view. I won't do it.
We broke up. And yes, religion had everything to do with it.
