Spare the rod, spoil the child

[Marsellus Wallace]

Couple of thoughts.

First off, there is a world of difference between a slap across the legs to end a dispute or underline a point, and the sort of thing some of y'all are talking about. I think there is a middle ground between child abuse (like locking a child in a basement or hitting them with a closed fist) and complete hands off parenting.

We decided at the getgo that we would not smack. I think with hindsight that was a mistake.

For EG my daughter had a meltdown over breakfast this morning because, pig that I am, I made her eat it all. This involved her yelling at me, me explaining calmly that it was unacceptable for her to speak to me that way. Her continuing to yell, me warning her that if she continued there would be a consequence. Her continuing, me taking some of her craft things and putting them in the bin. Her getting hysterical, me shouting back at her. Continue for about 15 minutes until she finally ate the F***ing wheatabix.

We got there in the end without violence. However it was a miserable morning for all concerned. Personally, My parents smacked very rarely, back of legs, bottom or palm of hand. But I would not have dreamt of yelling at my dad. That argument would never have taken place.

Sometimes it feels that the entirely non violent approach makes it worse for the kids because when they push for the boundry (and kids do love and need boundries) it is much harder to establish your positione so the argument goes on longer to the detriment of all.

I think there is a place for smacking in childrearing.

I agree in what you're saying , but its the line between a slap or beating the shit out of him that people don't see and if you say ok for that little slap , what says I won't do it twice or trice or 50 times.

I think its fair enough tho that if you raise you child in an awful way your child will grow up to be awful to you, but if you raise your child good, you'll definitely get rewarded with a person who respects you and kind to you .