Silly things you misunderstood about religion as a child

[Cecelia]

I don't mean things you find ridiculous as an atheist (assuming you are), but just things that were kind of silly 'childlike' beliefs, like how kids think if you have a credit card you have unlimited  money (some adults still think this.)  I think a child's view of religion can be very enlightening (as well as entertaining) 

For instance, my husband told me that when he was a kid that he thought God, The lord, and Jesus were three separate people, and that Santa and God hung out in heaven.

Or like how I believed that God told Noah to build the ark because it was going to rain a lot, and not because he was punishing people.

After one of our daughters heard about the devil for the first time when she was about 3 years old, she took a shovel and started digging, planning on 'defeating the devil with a squirt gun'. 

So did you have any misunderstandings about your religion growing up (assuming you grew up with religion)?

[MTL]

I don't mean things you find ridiculous as an atheist (assuming you are), but just things that were kind of silly 'childlike' beliefs, like how kids think if you have a credit card you have unlimited  money (some adults still think this.)  I think a child's view of religion can be very enlightening (as well as entertaining) 

For instance, my husband told me that when he was a kid that he thought God, The lord, and Jesus were three separate people, and that Santa and God hung out in heaven.

Or like how I believed that God told Noah to build the ark because it was going to rain a lot, and not because he was punishing people.

After one of our daughters heard about the devil for the first time when she was about 3 years old, she took a shovel and started digging, planning on 'defeating the devil with a squirt gun'. 

So did you have any misunderstandings about your religion growing up (assuming you grew up with religion)?

the way our church was built,
behind the pulpit was the choir loft...a series of carpeted tiers ascending,
and at the top, behind the choir, was a white wall,
with a big, backlit, black cross hanging upon it.

When I was a kid, I always thought that you had to climb the choir loft to get to heaven.

[Bob Kelso]

I thought that Jesus literally lived in my heart when I was about 5 or 6.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

When I was in my single digit years, I believed in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I always dreamed of when I became an adult, and I could fly on an airplane, I'd be able to fly to get close enough to the rainbow, and make my way on foot to the end, and claim my prize.

Cut me some slack, I was probably 7, and it's not as crazy as what some of the adult christians believe on here.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

I thought that Jesus literally lived in my heart when I was about 5 or 6.

That's like the Islamic story about Satan sleeping in a person's nostrils.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I believed that one day Rapture would happen, and I'd be standing there watching the clothes of better people than me go limp and fall into a pile, them being lifted into Heaven, as I realized I wasn't saved.

I really believed this, and it scared the shit out of me.

[Fidel_Castronaut]

That any of it was real.

I believed what people told me when I was very young because that's what small children do. They absorb the information that people tell them and because they have no frame of reference they're unable to discern what is 'true' and what isn't. It wasn't until the mysteries of the world started to become less magical (eg. Santa) that I began to see through the bull. In terms of Christianity it was the flood and the millions of deaths that were just ignored in the 'good news' bible that was read to me when I was around 6 or7. The magic of a fresh start was tainted by the deaths of every animal and person on the planet, I then started to realise that actually Christianity was neither loving nor true.

[strawberryBacteria]

I pictured god was a man wearing a white robe looking like he's in his 50-60's and floats in outer space while sitting on a rug.

[Bob Kelso]

I believed that one day Rapture would happen, and I'd be standing there watching the clothes of better people than me go limp and fall into a pile, them being lifted into Heaven, as I realized I wasn't saved.

I really believed this, and it scared the shit out of me.

I worried over this constantly in my early-to-late teenage years. It was a terrible feeling.

[Cato]

That all Catholic priests were celibate.