Spare the rod, spoil the child

[Jenny A]

I didn't grow up with a no spanking policy , but I was spanked just once, by my father that I can remember. It was richly deserved---not because I'd done one big thing, but because I'd done the 20th purposefully annoying one within a hour. And I did learn a rather valuable lesson, i.e. that parents don't have endless patience and that if you poke a snake with a stick, it will eventually bite. If my brother even got I spanking, I don't remember it. Discipline was pretty good in our house most of the time.

My husband and I don't have a no spanking policy, but we both naturally go for other methods first. Time out and disapproval worked so escalation wasn't necessary. The result is we've never found we needed to spank them. So we haven't. We've also never had to ground them. When the girls were toddlers it could be exhausting because consistently correcting behavior and trying to stop problems before the start were what made this work for us. By the time they were 7 or 8 it got easier. So far the teen years are a joy.

Rereading this I sound smug even to me. I don't mean to. I think we got lucky in getting the particular kids we've got as much as that we are good parents.

I don't think spanking kids on the butt is abusive. It's probably necessary sometimes. I just think there are usually more effective methods.