Spare the rod, spoil the child

[Jackalope]

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That's the catch, isn't it? If it gets to the point where they won't cooperate, as a parent, you're bloody well screwed.

Makes it tougher certainly. That's where the toolkit comes in.

I remember thing 1 having an epic temper tantrum. I sat calmly with her, refused to let her rile me, explained why her behaviour was inappropriate and talked her Down. She apologised and understood.

Next day she did it again. Same strategy, same result.

Next day again.
And again. Morning AND evening.
For a week and a bit.

Figured out in the end that she was relishing the attention and quality time! And was thus flipping out so I would spend the time calming her down. On the last day I lost it, yelled at her and told her if she spoke to me like that again I would send her to her room when she got home, give her dinner in there and not let her down until she could behave in a decent manner.

And that was that.

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Yeah, I hear you. I make it a point to never let my anger go unchecked in front of or directed towards my son. He's had motivation issues at the alternative school that was a bitch to get him into, and one afternoon when he brought a note home from a very frustrated teacher...

I dressed him down with the command voice I learned as an NCO in the army. Message received loud and clear - kid knows Dad is serious when the volume goes up. Dad doesn't get angry. Dad doesn't yell. Oh fuck, Dad is serious about this shit.

Trick is, you can't yell at 'em all the time or they get numb to it.

I'm no model parent to be sure, and no two kids are alike - which is why I'm not absolutely anti-corporal punishment. It's the wrong tool for *me*, and it seems very often misused, over-used, unnecessary, and sends a very confusing message.