Spare the rod, spoil the child

[Jacob(smooth)]

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Makes it tougher certainly. That's where the toolkit comes in.

I remember thing 1 having an epic temper tantrum. I sat calmly with her, refused to let her rile me, explained why her behaviour was inappropriate and talked her Down. She apologised and understood.

Next day she did it again. Same strategy, same result.

Next day again.
And again. Morning AND evening.
For a week and a bit.

Figured out in the end that she was relishing the attention and quality time! And was thus flipping out so I would spend the time calming her down. On the last day I lost it, yelled at her and told her if she spoke to me like that again I would send her to her room when she got home, give her dinner in there and not let her down until she could behave in a decent manner.

And that was that.

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Yeah, I hear you. I make it a point to never let my anger go unchecked in front of or directed towards my son. He's had motivation issues at the alternative school that was a bitch to get him into, and one afternoon when he brought a note home from a very frustrated teacher...

I dressed him down with the command voice I learned as an NCO in the army. Message received loud and clear - kid knows Dad is serious when the volume goes up. Dad doesn't get angry. Dad doesn't yell. Oh fuck, Dad is serious about this shit.

Trick is, you can't yell at 'em all the time or they get numb to it.

I'm no model parent to be sure, and no two kids are alike - which is why I'm not absolutely anti-corporal punishment. It's the wrong tool for *me*, and it seems very often misused, over-used, unnecessary, and sends a very confusing message.

LOL. Truth. I think its the contrast. Mrs Jacob does a lot of shouting and it has very little impact. I use it very rarely but when I do it does get results (although I hate doing it).

I suspect that corperal punishment is similar. If people use it every week it would become background. Swat your child once in 5 years when they run into the road and the impact will be infinitely greater.

Still not found a situation where its the only option I can think of, but I wouldn't rule it out!

Oh and as to being model parents, the only model parents I know are people who are not yet parents. Those "supernanny" programs make me want to hurl stuff at the tv. Very easy to be smug and detatched and sactimonious when you have no emotional attachment, are well rested, can go home and have a cup of tea afterward. At 829 in the morning, you're sleep deprived, when you have to be out by 830 and thing one has just poured shampoo into thing two's school bag and thing two hit thing one with a transformer in retaliation, and you have to stay calm and explain to them the reasons their behavior is wrong so they can grow into well adjusted and thoughtful adults...