You'll find out many people here have gone trough similar frustrations, not only related to medical procedures and diseases but regarding theism as a whole. Just pick the sub forum of introductions and do a thread introducing yourself and your position on religious beliefs, something short and simple.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
