Did I miss anything?

[Esquilax]

You poor, deluded sinner. The answer would be clear if you weren't an unrepentant lecherous masturbator. I'm afraid it's off to hell with you.

That's the thing: a free sex life is pretty much my only "sin," but I never cheat on any woman or man I'm in a committed relationship with, and my dabblings in erotica are only ever about fictional women, which can't possibly trigger that dumb adultery thoughtcrime commandment. So even in my "sinning" I'm more honest, moral and open than the traditional picture of the type, so for god to look at me and decide I go to hell, he's really stretching himself, there.

Meanwhile, I'm willing to bet an adulterer who actually cheats on his wife but repents will be bound for heaven, so...