Is promoting virginity harmful to young girls/women?

[Losty]

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Losty,

Personally I don't like the idea of children pledging virginity. I think the decision must be made by the adult, and it's a decision that adults make day by day rather than as something pledged.

But I do support the ideal of sex within marriage, or at least within a relationship that is willing and able to commit to raise any child resulting from sex. For me that it is because I believe life starts at conception, and so I cannot condone abortion. Sex, being intrinsically linked to pregnancy is therefore best kept within a relationship that is able and prepared to bring up that child. There is also an intimacy of sex that is inevitably devalued by having multiple partners; as someone said earlier it simply becomes 'sport'. I prefer values that hold it as something more special than sport or entertainment. Needless to say there is also an advantage that STDs would have much lower impact if the number of sexual partners were significantly reduced (we now know, for example, that the risk of early preterm birth, a major cause of disability, increases significantly with the number of sexual partners a woman has had, because it is linked to hidden low-grade genital infection).

But the title of your thread made me a wince a little because it does seem to reflect a greater pressure on girls than boys, and I think that reflects the reality. No doubt that is because of where the consequences lie, and girls were wrongly ostracised in the past whereas boys could disappear back into the background. That was very wrong.

Anyway, that's just a view from another place. I appreciate that I'm taking a counter-cultural (at least on this forum) view here, so will go and don my tin hat.

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If you want to teach your daughter(or son) that she should wait because stds and pregnancy that is fine. That is not the issue that I take. The issue is that people cannot turn thoughts and feelings off just because of a marriage certificate. So if you teach them that sex(sexuality/sexual thoughts) outside of marriage are sinful/wrong/bad/dirty that is wrong. It's a disgusting thing to tell a child that something natural (something they will inevitably feel and/or think about) is something they should be ashamed of.

Ps. I see nothing wrong with sex as a sport. I have my own "demons" (thank you PTSD) mixing sex and love leaves me feeling icky and violated.