joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

While hearing confessions, Father Pat got a message that one of his parishioners was dying and in need of Last Rites. He drew the head altar boy to one side and whispered, 'Jimmy, I've got to go out. Sit in the box for me and hear the confessions. You've heard me do this a thousand times, just give the same penances you've heard me give. I'll be back as quick as I can manage.'

Nervous as a virgin at an orgy, Jimmy enters the box. An elderly woman enters and confesses that she missed Mass once, swore at her husband, and kicked the cat. Jimmy gives her ten Hail Marys and says to put ten quid in the poor box.

Then next few confessions are similar - minor, venial sins. Jimmy's confidence is growing accordingly, when Jeannie O'Hare, town strumpet, enters the booth.

'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I met a man at the pub last night. One thing led to another and I let him pleasure me in the "bad place" and let him use my mouth.'

Stumped for a penance, Jimmy sticks his head out of the confessional and shouts at one of the other altar boys, 'Oi! What does Father Pat give for anal sex and a blow job?'

And the answer shouted back was, 'Packet of crisps and a lift home.'

Boru