RE: I need some advice
September 20, 2014 at 1:46 pm
(This post was last modified: September 20, 2014 at 2:10 pm by Lemonvariable72.)
(September 20, 2014 at 4:00 am)pocaracas Wrote:(September 19, 2014 at 3:16 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: she was mad she had to sit next to me because I'm a creep and I ask weird questions.
Oh no, lemon... what have you done to the poor woman that would make her say something like that?
You're a creep? What does that mean? That you're constantly creeping her out? Always looking at her in a funny way? Poking her with a pencil? Making creepy noises? What??
The weird questions part is a bit laughable... regardless of where she sits, she'll have to hear them. :p
Haha my questions aren't even weird, they just sound that way to her because I've worked these places before and she hasn't. Too answer your other question, I can't even recall having any real direct contact with this woman, I can tell you I haven't looked at her in a weird way as she is 40 and fat, I have been on the other side of the room the most of the time.
(September 20, 2014 at 3:41 am)CapnAwesome Wrote:I'm not sure how much experience you have in dealing with bullies, but I have somewhat expensive experience with it and what you suggested would only result in me appearing weak. If I appear then the situation simply escalates, because she will think she can just make fun of me whenever she wants. That would eventually lead to her trying me fired because I'm weird and she can get away with it. What i was attempting to do was find a mature way to handle this that still says "I'm not gonna take your bullshit"(September 19, 2014 at 5:17 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: How do you deal privately with someone that publicly shames you? If she was mature and came to me privately it would be a different matter.
Just to give a bit more detail on the situation, thios woman has been noted several times for being openly disruptive to the class, and I demonstrated this afternoon that those "weird questions" I have helped prepare me aptly for my job when I was double jacking with a agent on the floor today and was forced to take his call do to technical issues. Something most in my class have openly said they could not do. Also quitting is not a option do to my financial situation.
You can be the mature one and go to her privately. At least it should be your first option. It seems unfair to hold someone to a standard that you yourself are not upholding. If that didn't go well then you could deal with them with HR or whatever. What you did was try to get her fired or what could result in her being fired. That's an overreaction. The mature thing is definitely to try to deal with it yourself first. You go up and say 'what you said really upset me and I wonder what I've done to offend you.' That doesn't mean it's your only option. If she says "Fuck off weirdo" Then maybe you can seek other options, but I would never try to get someone fired as a first option.
(September 19, 2014 at 3:30 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: Wait... so Lemon privately going to HR was worse than her publicly shaming him? I totally disagree with that part.
I don't really see how you disagree with that. Does that woman not need to support herself also?
[/quote]
If supporting herself is so important to her then why is she risking her job to make fun of people?
Quote:Lemon may not have felt great about that for a minute but what he did seems to be an attempt to get someone fired just because he felt embarrassed. Who cares what she thinks. Like someone else said, if the situation is being accurately reported everyone probably thinks she's an asshole.Some do, but in reality she seems to fit in better then me. She doesnt do this to anyone else
Quote: How do you know what her fiscal situation is? What if someone did that to you?If I was just joking around and I hit a nerve like that sre I'd be pissed they went to hr at first, but then I'd take a minute calm down and apologize top that person in front of everyone, the sameway I made fun of them.
Quote: It seems like an overreaction to me is all. Sometimes it's amazing to me how quick some of you are to judge someone who we only have one sided information on. Maybe that woman is having private struggles at home? Maybe she suffers from some sort of depression or self confidence problem of her own and her way of dealing with it is to lash out.So? That is not a excuse to put others down. I'm dealing with all those issues and I am not publicly shaming people.
Quote: You don't know based on one paragraph that someone wrote on the internet. Lemon doesn't know because he hasn't attempted to have a private conversation with the person and instead attempted to get someone else to deal with his own problem. Going behind someone's back to try to get them fired is way worse when you can just talk to them privately and tell them how you feel about what they said. At the very least that should be your first option.Should people that openly engage in such behavior at a work place be allowed to continue to be employed there?
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
