I Need Some Help

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I am a student at a highly prestigious, super-secret university, and I need you to answer the following questions.  If you don't, I will have to go outside and talk to people.

1. Are men who wish they had bigger penises more or less moral than women who wish they had bigger breasts?

2. How tall was Jesus? If so, why?

3. Do you know more than three people called 'Cecelia'?

4. If your only options were eating blueberry pancakes or skinning a ferret, would you call your mum for advice?

5. Do you think Isaac Newton could have beaten  Gandhi in a knife fight?

6. If you found the ultimate meaning of life, would you try to find the rightful owner?

7. Why do you think fish are so smug?

8. Is your neck closer than it seems?

9.  Do you giggle when you pee?

10. How often do you have that dream where The Scorpion Empress of the Nether Hells fellates a pickle?

Please provide your answers as quickly as possible - I'm under a deadline. 

Boru

[No_God]

Whatever drugs you took to write this, can I please have some?

[DLJ]

11. What's the population of Peru.

12. Name them.



The "giggle when you pee" made me giggle (but not pee).

Bravo sir.

[purplepurpose]

1. Are men who wish they had bigger penises more or less moral than women who wish they had bigger breasts?

2. How tall was Jesus? If so, why?

3. Do you know more than three people called 'Cecelia'?

4. If your only options were eating blueberry pancakes or skinning a ferret, would you call your mum for advice?

5. Do you think Isaac Newton could have beaten  Gandhi in a knife fight?

6. If you found the ultimate meaning of life, would you try to find the rightful owner?

7. Why do you think fish are so smug?

8. Is your neck closer than it seems?

9.  Do you giggle when you pee?

10. How often do you have that dream where The Scorpion Empress of the Nether Hells fellates a pickle?


There is only one answer needed here:

[Pat Mustard]

I am a student at a highly prestigious, super-secret university, and I need you to answer the following questions.  If you don't, I will have to go outside and talk to people.

1. Are men who wish they had bigger penises more or less moral than women who wish they had bigger breasts?

2. How tall was Jesus? If so, why?

3. Do you know more than three people called 'Cecelia'?

4. If your only options were eating blueberry pancakes or skinning a ferret, would you call your mum for advice?

5. Do you think Isaac Newton could have beaten  Gandhi in a knife fight?

6. If you found the ultimate meaning of life, would you try to find the rightful owner?

7. Why do you think fish are so smug?

8. Is your neck closer than it seems?

9.  Do you giggle when you pee?

10. How often do you have that dream where The Scorpion Empress of the Nether Hells fellates a pickle?

Please provide your answers as quickly as possible - I'm under a deadline. 

Boru

1) Men.
2) 9' even. Nobody could be taller'n Jesus.
3) Yes, I am a man.
4) No, I am a man, I need not a lowly woman's advice.
5) Yes, Newton was a godly man, Gandhi was a heathen and a pacifist.
6) No for I would be dead and gone to heaven, and god seeing that I was the manliest of men would have entrusted it to me for safekeeping.
7) Because they know not of god.
8) No, for my neck is a godly neck and stays in it's appointed place.
9) No for that is a womanly and ungodly way to act.
10) Never, I simply dream of subjugating that ungodly and heathen woman to god's will.

All these answers are biblically correct.

[Edwardo Piet]

1. Are men who wish they had bigger penises more or less moral than women who wish they had bigger breasts?

Less moral. Because men are bastards, m'kay.

2. How tall was Jesus? If so, why?

Almost as tall as my penis. Because it's funny.

There's a whole Broadway show called "6 inch Jesus", didn't you get the memo? It sold out.

3. Do you know more than three people called 'Cecelia'?

Nope. I know one on AF and she's hawt but don't tell her or she might get mad.

Or did I misread her username. Anyways.

4. If your only options were eating blueberry pancakes or skinning a ferret, would you call your mum for advice?

I'd eat the blueberry pancake. Although I'd make a lot more of a mess than someone who skinned a ferret. The crumbs would go everywhere and some would even end up on my balls. Because naturally: I eat cupcakes nekkid.

Didn't you know pancakes turn into cupcakes when you eat them nude? Try it.

5. Do you think Isaac Newton could have beaten  Gandhi in a knife fight?

No because Gandhi was a psychopathic fraud and he would murder people to death for sport in private, he just never got caught.

6. If you found the ultimate meaning of life, would you try to find the rightful owner?

Yes. I'd search for myself all day long.

7. Why do you think fish are so smug?

Because those slippery bastards think they don't need air outside the water.

8. Is your neck closer than it seems?

No, but my nose is always in front of my eyes slightly and I never realize it until I point it out and then it becomes annoying. Oh shit! I mentioned it again! FUCK OFF NOSE!

9.  Do you giggle when you pee?

No, that's a girl thing. But I do guffaw when I piss out my cock end like a normal bloke.

10. How often do you have that dream where The Scorpion Empress of the Nether Hells fellates a pickle?

Never. But I regularly dream about my arse becoming a more challenging expedition than mount Everest.

Please provide your answers as quickly as possible - I'm under a deadline. 

And I'm a professional shitspewer so hopefully I was super duper hyper turbo enough for ya.

Boru

Burp.

[Seraphina]

You're nuts, Boru

-Teresa

[Edwardo Piet]

You're nuts, Boru

-Teresa