I need some advice

[CapnAwesome]

Also to the part about you not publically shaming her, you are, on the internet. You insulted her appearance, and basically came of as just as insulting as she is. What if someone from your work finds this thread. It's hardly impossible.

To us, she is an abstraction. To his coworkers, Lemon is a real person. Shame is an interpersonal dynamic, and those conditions aren't present here because none of us know her.

Put another way, she would only feel shame if she knows she's the butt of his derogatory comments, and cared about our opinions. Neither of those conditions obtain here, while both of them obtain in her treatment of Lemon.

That's true, but you have at least find some irony that he's upset about being publicly insulted (in what I would say is not really that serious of a way) and his reaction is to go on the internet and call her a fat bitch publicly. Which is worse then being said that you ask weird questions. It's hardly an insult. Sure she's unlikely to see it but really it's not impossible. Why is there a need to be so insulting in the first place? The whole thing makes him seem overly sensitive and immature to me.