The transition between faith to no faith.

[Mudhammam]

When I was around the age of eighteen or nineteen I descended into depression, largely over the realization that God was an inconceivable proposition and if substantial at all, only as it related to people's so called religious experiences, which I felt no connection with. A few years later, long after that subsided, and I fluctuated between agnosticism, atheism, deism, and panpsychism to varying degrees, I had, as they say, an "existential crisis," this time largely intellectual in nature, realizing that we are alone in the Universe and that all ideas of truth and purpose are wholly dependent on our mindsets and attitudes. Since then, I slowly began to drift towards anti-theism as I learned more about the intellectual and moral deficiencies involved in all attempts to ground experience in the deities of various theistic philosophies. In terms of peace of mind, I've never felt better.