What are you thinking about?

[MusicLovingAtheist]

I was thinking today that I wish all of my pain could just be sucked out of me by listening to music. It doesn't matter how much music I listen to though to drown out my anxiety. It would be like trying to treat a cancer with kisses from your mom. I just wish I could have fun. I haven't had anything that felt like a substantial amount of fun for years. I don't look at people. I avoid having to socialize with others at all costs. It feels like the part of my brain responsible for content is aching and frozen over from being left out in the cold for far too long. I feel like this world is slowly killing me. It seems like all my feelings just get fainter and fainter as I grow older. I just get used to the pain and I just keep taking it and taking it. I wonder what pain does to a person.