RE: How can you say "take responsibility for your life"?
October 27, 2014 at 12:51 am
(This post was last modified: October 27, 2014 at 12:52 am by bennyboy.)
I think it's pretty obvious that MLA is trying to reach out here, despite the hostile language. It might feel good to answer hostility with hostility, but is there really any use in doing it?
MLA, look, I don't know what it's like to be you, but I've had some of the feelings you're talking about. I can say (20 years later mind you) that weakness is strength-- you don't have to lash out, you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip, you don't have to see it as you against the world. If you find people don't connect with you, it's probably a mirror effect-- because of your insecurities, you are having trouble looking other people in the eye, showing a sincere interest in them and their lives, and looking for commonalities to base friendships on.
I was lucky in college to discover that ALL people at that age are basically insecure. If you make eye contact, smile encouragingly (i.e. not trying to get them to like you but trying to make them feel liked) and LISTEN when people talk to you, you'll find people aren't as shallow and elitist as you think. They just act that way to defend themselves from people they don't understand.
Remember: hostility is almost always weakness, and kindness is almost always strength. Be kind.
MLA, look, I don't know what it's like to be you, but I've had some of the feelings you're talking about. I can say (20 years later mind you) that weakness is strength-- you don't have to lash out, you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip, you don't have to see it as you against the world. If you find people don't connect with you, it's probably a mirror effect-- because of your insecurities, you are having trouble looking other people in the eye, showing a sincere interest in them and their lives, and looking for commonalities to base friendships on.
I was lucky in college to discover that ALL people at that age are basically insecure. If you make eye contact, smile encouragingly (i.e. not trying to get them to like you but trying to make them feel liked) and LISTEN when people talk to you, you'll find people aren't as shallow and elitist as you think. They just act that way to defend themselves from people they don't understand.
Remember: hostility is almost always weakness, and kindness is almost always strength. Be kind.
