Nonsensical Fun: Distort a religion!

[JuliaL]

All Polytheistic Religions Ever

Verilux the Great OverGod created the universe and the Lesser Gods from a particularly wet and fruity belch.

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Things went well for a multitude of Ages, until Spumoni, the goddess of That Crusty Stuff That Forms In The Corners Of Your Mouth fell in love with Ankleiron, the god of Wobbly Chairs.

Ankleiron, however, spurned the advances of Spumoni, he being enamoured of Chantressa, goddess of Daydreaming About Dinosaurs When You Should Be Working. Spumoni was enraged and vowed to make Ankleiron her own.

To this end, she appeared before him in the form of a terrifying refrigerator, 'Are there no facilities here?' she demanded. 'Are there no clean washrooms?' Horrified at the implications, Ankleiron sought help from Badgicus, god of Dairy That Is Past Its Sell-By Date But You Eat Anyway Because You Don't Really Care Anymore, who advised him to drop Chantressa like a live grenade and submit to Spumoni. However, Chantressa got wind of the plot and with the aid of Menthol, god of Short-Term Loans, turned Spumoni into a river and wedded Ankleiron. They moved west and opened a sandal-and-bead shop.

Even today, the river can be heard to softly cry, 'Thanks a heap guys. One day I'm a goddess, and the next day I'm a river. You stink.' And the wind answers,

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'Phooey.'

Boru

That was awesome.
I can't compete.
But flesh it out to 40 pages and we can get a movie deal started.