I have never been to an atheist funeral or even a secular one before. But my father died last night, and brother and I now have one to plan.
Bro and I are both atheist and my father though he was very actively Christian until his forties (went to seminary), has neither been to church nor discussed god in the last thirty-five years or so. He has adamantly refused pastoral visits of any kind during hospital stays. There will be no other relatives at the funeral beyond bro and my immediate families (also atheist) except Dad's ex-wife who is also a-religious, though not necessarily atheist. So we don't want god-talk intruding to the extent we can avoid it. But we aren't interesting in making this an anti-theist event either. This is a memorial and should feel welcoming to everyone who attends.
Our initial thoughts were to use a funeral home and have a short opening welcome and moment of silence. Then some music that Dad loved (60's folk or Simon and Garfunkel). Then a chance for several people who knew him well to speak about him a few minutes (we'll schedule those in advance). More music and a brief closing. All followed by a reception line leading straight to a buffet.
Does anyone have any experience, or just ideas about how to handle this?
Bro and I are both atheist and my father though he was very actively Christian until his forties (went to seminary), has neither been to church nor discussed god in the last thirty-five years or so. He has adamantly refused pastoral visits of any kind during hospital stays. There will be no other relatives at the funeral beyond bro and my immediate families (also atheist) except Dad's ex-wife who is also a-religious, though not necessarily atheist. So we don't want god-talk intruding to the extent we can avoid it. But we aren't interesting in making this an anti-theist event either. This is a memorial and should feel welcoming to everyone who attends.
Our initial thoughts were to use a funeral home and have a short opening welcome and moment of silence. Then some music that Dad loved (60's folk or Simon and Garfunkel). Then a chance for several people who knew him well to speak about him a few minutes (we'll schedule those in advance). More music and a brief closing. All followed by a reception line leading straight to a buffet.
Does anyone have any experience, or just ideas about how to handle this?
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
