(January 14, 2015 at 12:52 pm)wolfclan96 Wrote: As far as they know I'm still christian at heart. What kills me inside though is the fact I cant even hint at what I really feel without emotions sorta rising. I tolled them I no longer wished to go to a certain church I've been attending for years as well as volunteered. This was pretty hard cause I did genuinly love and care about the people at my church...but couldn't take living out a lie every week.
Its like living in Orwell's "1984" but maybe not to the extreme of being executed for what I believe.
A couple of months ago, I became more comfortable that Christianity is bunk, and I have been making a special effort to do things to make family and friends assume I respect and believe Christianity. Whenever I visit my mother, I try to watch Christian TV. I'm hoping to attend church every Saturday evening with my mother at the Catholic church (even though we aren't Catholic). I might even start praying before meals.
Maybe a similar approach will work for you?
