RE: Anybody know of any jokes that mock God?
February 8, 2015 at 7:47 pm
(This post was last modified: February 8, 2015 at 8:10 pm by emilynghiem.)
A. My favorite God humor is God's facebook page Genesis edition
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/3739519...of-genesis
Runner up is the Great God Contest: http://www.islandnet.com/~luree/contest.html
B. There were two other replies that blended into one post. sorry:
Here is an entry I wrote for a bad writing contest. Enjoy!
==================================
"Clueless"
For once in eternity,
God didn't know what to do, although he was omniscient.
And knew it. Or thought so.
He wasn't sure. If he knew all things in heaven and hell,
which was a hell of a lot more than heaven alone,
he'd instantly know in advance how to respond in the future.
But he didn't. Nothing made sense anymore.
The chances of humans' outsmarting God were lower than a snowball's chance in hell, or heaven and hell combined, whichever was worse.
How could they set him up behind his back, in front of his face?
Only God could achieve the impossible, so this must be his will, since it was clearly impossible.
He was stunned. This made no sense, and he knew it.
Or thought he did. Aarrgghh!
Never mind, he assured himself, it's some trick of the Devil he allowed.
Then made himself forget, since he was omnipotent.
Only God could make himself forget that he forgot something, right?
Just forget it, he thought.
God tore through his files, searching. For deliberately random scribbles, or any clue why he might plan to forget whatever plans he forgot.
There must be some note reminding him, but since he could not remember where he forgot he wrote it down, surely he planned all that!
How else could he set up humans to set him up, unless he set that up, too? This whole thing smelled of a setup, right under his nose.
Finding no answers, he found himself lost.
For the first time in history, without beginning or end,
God was clueless. If his plan was to prove his omniscience,
now he knew how cluelessness felt.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have a clue!
He now knew what it meant not to know.
At least he knew that much.
C: The Tweet of God in reply to @robvalue
There is a whole series of Tweets that are a spoof on God
God@TheTweetOfGod
The new U.S. Congress is 80% white, 80% male, 92% Christian, and 99% 1%.
God on Twitter
It is sinful that gay marriage is now allowed in Florida when in fact NO marriages should be allowed there or human activity of any kind.
My favorite in the series:
I'll say it before and I'll say it again.
The Bible is 100% accurate.
Especially when thrown at close range.
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/3739519...of-genesis
Runner up is the Great God Contest: http://www.islandnet.com/~luree/contest.html
B. There were two other replies that blended into one post. sorry:
Here is an entry I wrote for a bad writing contest. Enjoy!
==================================
"Clueless"
For once in eternity,
God didn't know what to do, although he was omniscient.
And knew it. Or thought so.
He wasn't sure. If he knew all things in heaven and hell,
which was a hell of a lot more than heaven alone,
he'd instantly know in advance how to respond in the future.
But he didn't. Nothing made sense anymore.
The chances of humans' outsmarting God were lower than a snowball's chance in hell, or heaven and hell combined, whichever was worse.
How could they set him up behind his back, in front of his face?
Only God could achieve the impossible, so this must be his will, since it was clearly impossible.
He was stunned. This made no sense, and he knew it.
Or thought he did. Aarrgghh!
Never mind, he assured himself, it's some trick of the Devil he allowed.
Then made himself forget, since he was omnipotent.
Only God could make himself forget that he forgot something, right?
Just forget it, he thought.
God tore through his files, searching. For deliberately random scribbles, or any clue why he might plan to forget whatever plans he forgot.
There must be some note reminding him, but since he could not remember where he forgot he wrote it down, surely he planned all that!
How else could he set up humans to set him up, unless he set that up, too? This whole thing smelled of a setup, right under his nose.
Finding no answers, he found himself lost.
For the first time in history, without beginning or end,
God was clueless. If his plan was to prove his omniscience,
now he knew how cluelessness felt.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have a clue!
He now knew what it meant not to know.
At least he knew that much.
C: The Tweet of God in reply to @robvalue
(January 29, 2015 at 1:10 pm)robvalue Wrote: I started using meme generator recently and got carried away and made loads hehe. I'll put up the god ones I did:
There is a whole series of Tweets that are a spoof on God
God@TheTweetOfGod
The new U.S. Congress is 80% white, 80% male, 92% Christian, and 99% 1%.
God on Twitter
It is sinful that gay marriage is now allowed in Florida when in fact NO marriages should be allowed there or human activity of any kind.
My favorite in the series:
I'll say it before and I'll say it again.
The Bible is 100% accurate.
Especially when thrown at close range.
